the project of vanity..

for those who don't already know..
i'm getting braces done...
yes..
vanity... cos my teeth aren't seriously in need of orthodontics..
(goodbye NANO... and x'mas shopping... all of you will only be getting cards.. made from scrap material...)

so anyway... had went for the first session yesterday... (apparently i forgot that i had an prior appt the week b4)
and the dentist inserted small pieces of rubber bands to create space...
basically what he did was to jam those rubber band things in between the molars...
not exactly painful..
but sure is irritating... its like hvg food stuck between your teeth... only this time you can't go floss it out...
yes... it makes u feel like u actually DO wanna FLOSs... uurgh... just 4pcs of rubber band.. and i already feel depressed..
i can already see it affecting my speech..
but of course some ppl can be thankful that i will be keeping my mouth shut more often...
(but i can still roll my eyes!!!....)

the point is.. i cannot imagine the discomfort that will follow when my whole mouth is fitted with these braces.. uurrgh..
i'm on my way to being a 25yr old nerd...

how bout treating me to chocolates and candy for the next two weeks??
ooh.. i can be like that fat kid in charlie and the chocolate factory!! but i doubt i'll clog up the pipes..
=P

another two pints of beer

i'm IN THE (wrong time) ZONE

why am i not doing work in singapore time??
**bleaah**

soon i will be able to join the pandas... i wonder if the beijing olympics are looking for a real life mascot...

it's monday yet again...

a new week... a new month... but the same old things to get thru...
thesis work.. dissertation... readings for elective...
it all seems like a lot of work..
but i live by my mantra... it all ends somehow... meaning we'll survive one way or another...
i guess i've never really considered not surviving as a possible outcome.. heh
sometimes i live a lot by faith....
occassionally overestimating myself and underestimating the situation...

mariah carey's we belong together plays in the background for the uptenth time...
niki thinks i'm going mad.. but i still luurve the song...
she, ms niki... has lost the need to identify with it....
now that she's found bliss... (oops... did i reveal too much?? at least i din say u were getting married!!)

well.. on a brighter note... mondays are still bearable cos i have my tennis lessons!! heh still in the running to be the top student.. and nO, i'm not the only one who enrolled... i'm masquerading as a newbie to boost my deflating ego... heee.....
AND.. america's next model tonite!!!! that should see me through the rest of the semester...
oh yes... the actual workload too...
time to do some actual work....

**bleaah**

HAPPie BIrthday Edwin TING!

hope u are enjoying urself in shanghai...
you're not online! got the day off?? heh...

has it been 10 days...

wow.. i need to blog a bit more often... well, not exactly NEED.. but i shd try...
10 days since i put in an entry writing off perth:MASSACRE IN GEYLANG as one of the worst movies i've ever watched in the cinemas... and mind you, i've watched a couple of stinkers in my time...
10 days on.. and the person who dragged me to watch that show based on a ST review.. has left for LONDON.. wow...i hv frens all over the globe... yet no money to go visit... that's just sad....
BYE BYE BOH!! hope you're settling in well over there.. can't imagine how you'd handle all the stuff u brought over without your two MANSLAVES... hey... u forgot to pay foreign labour levy!!! and also for that MAINLAND woman who stood ard carrying a paper bag while doubling as the chauffer for ur msian labourers....

caught the T'ANG quartet concert last nite... and ming and mei finally meet...
(we shd do this more often... *nervous giggle*)
and just as we were rushing to meet terence for dinner... we saw a RAINBOH...
i dun really know what you can do with it since its not exactly like a shooting star where u make a wish.... so we just took some photos of it anyway...

oh.. the concert was alrite... but i really do think that it takes a lot of energy and attention to appreciate classical pieces.. too many movements and false signs of that piece coming to an end..
the encore pieces were much shorter and had enough dramatic solo parts for the cello to end the nite well..
but it isn't a bad idea to act all refined once in a while.. especially when its free... ;)

now bring on the bubblegummers!

starbucks deprivation..

i cldn't recall when was the last time i had a latte that wasn't home made..
and by home made... i mean self-made... and not exactly latte..
which is kinda strange.. cos i remember it being almost like staple...
ah.. the joys of overpriced coffee.. and un-productivity...
now its just without the overpriced coffee...
how sad...

gimme my latte... and free movie tickets!! *nudges boh*

perth... right down under..

the geylang massacre...
yes..
how sad...
thankfully it screened its last...
but unfortunately BOH made me catch the last show with her...

*free latte coming up!**

an untitled project...

getting my early dose of caffeine...
and wondering to myself of my lapse in sanity
not that i'm going bonkers... or cucko0o..
just that i've somehow lost track of the trivialities..

my judgment fails me...
things that are seemingly so important..
are only important at that very moment...
things that are seemingly so huge...
with the passing of a millisecond becomes minute...
matters that may feel so right...
are only right now..

obsession
like picking on scab..
self destructive
and self inflicted...
the refusal to let time play its course
and let fate unfold
is utter foolishness

the feeling...
like extricating the very last breath that is in you...
twisting your guts in knots...
it's like you've fallen..
and can only look up helplessly at the approaching stampede
waiting to be saved...
or to be woken from it

empty calories on a sunday nite...

the most sorrowful clouds...

for love i'd wander
like a seagull
crossing seas
looking for a shelter
and a hiding place

for love i'd wander
follow the tunes
and whispers of my heart
that hopes for love
everlasting and faithful

a pair of wings
unseen
like dreams
hidden
they turn into speckles
into raindrops
into the most sorrowful clouds

this swift poetry
will never be able to convey
these waves of desire
and longing
that i have for you

i'm still yearning
to express my soul
so that you'd understand
you'd realise
the way that i am
the one who adores you

**translated from AWAN YANG TERPILU (the most sorrowful clouds) by NING BAIZURA

happy birthday korean babe!

just an excerpt from what i've been working on...

Dearest,
I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we cannot go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that---- everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.
V
(Woolf, L, 1969)
(Extract from THE JOURNEY NOT THE ARRIVAL MATTERS by Leonard Woolf published by Hogarth Press. Used by kind permission of The Society of Authors as the Literary Representatives of the Estate of Virginia Woolf. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).

They said 'Come to tea and let us comfort you'. But it's no good. One must be crucified on one's own private cross.
It is a strange fact that a terrible pain in the heart can be interrupted by a little pain in the fourth toe of the right foot. I know that V. will not come across the garden from the lodge, and yet I look in that direction for her. I know that she is drowned and yet I listen for her to come in at the door. I know that it is the last page and yet I turn it over. There is no limit to one's own stupidity and selfishness.

Extract from 'A MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS. AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT OF LEONARD AND VIRGINIA WOOLF’ by George Spater and Ian Parsons Published by Jonathan Cape and Hogarth Press 1977. Used by kind permission of The Random House Group Limited. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section is restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).

lemme just update something...

ok before my blog starts growing cobwebs.... its time to put in an entry...
actually there was an entry prior to this.. heh... but the person who typed it (ie: not me) decided to remove it...
so into the trash can it went... toether with her rear end pic...

life has been ALRIGHT.... perhaps thats the problem when things are just OKAY...
there's no sensation in your existence...
just numbness...

i did haul my sorry ass out over the weekend... to watch STREET SCENES... which was sorta like a semi musical and well, i shall not comment on the generally bad acting... one caucasian lady was pretty good... in fact she was so good she stood out like a sore thumb... the rest of the Chinese cast... really... cannot make it lah.... you cldnt make out the words when they started singing...

ate CARL's jr... gosh... overpriced burgers... din quite enjoy mine.... after making my way thru half the burger... i realised.. there's no way that Paris Hilton can actually eat this and still be able to fit into that bikini to wash the car in the advert...
well.. my mantra is always to try everything at least once... so there, i'm sticking to my macs, kfc and subway from now on...

1157hrs @ the library

it was one of those perfect days of school...
i was on time... i did my readings... and actually answered questions that the lecturer had..
heh... and this was after my renewed GOOD STUDENT PLAN for this semester was temporarily foiled by a mild case of sniffles.. wednesday went by with sleeping and eating... only minimal reading done..
and it seems like that's basically what needs to be done this whole semester... READINGS and WRITING...
it would sound like the perfect sch experience for me... until of course i bail out on my schedule.. and hv to go into hiding from the tutor... and then comes the late submissions... and another disappointing semester in sch.. but i shall not let the past get the better of me... i am determined to stay disciplined for this coming 14weeks... (ok... i really dunno how many weeks are left of this semester)

ok... in the library now... taking a short break after my 2hr elective: READINGS IN ART AND ITS HISTORIES...
avoiding the lunch time crowd at the canteen... plus the fact that there's NO ONE ELSE IN SCHOOL!
**bawl**
gone are the days when there was always someone you knew (likeabilty factor notwithstanding) to have lunch with.. someone working on a site model... doodling a sketch in the studio... well, there're still ppl doing that.. just no one i know...
**bawl**
seems like its really not just a matter of adapting to changing environments for the ppl who have left or are going to leave this ocassionaly sunny island... those who are left behind hv to adapt too... bleah...

ok... so i've actually been thru a year of this... i really should hv gotten used to the idea by now...
but with every semester break.. holidays... it just makes going back to sch a real drab... no more time to just sit ard at starbucks pretending to be reading... no more "let's meet up.. and do nothing"...

i should spare myself the extra pain of the inevitable goodbyes and ease into the student mode of things...

one for the road....

the rocky road of education...

i'm sure we've all heard of the parable of that little boy who had to borrow the flame from his neighbours' candle light so that he could study at night... another one of those stories to remind us just how good we've got it... so you can imagine the thrill in my head when i had to brave the rain and the cold just to get to the library to drop off an overdued book, pay my fines, zap some readings and do a bit of borrowing..
the rain was relentless... and between the central library at the university and the architecture faculty... i was prepared to get drenched.. it was just a matter of which direction i get drenched in... (ok so there is a long sheltered pathway that will require me to meander thru the engin' fac... i really wasn't prepared to do any cardio in the great outdoors... plus, the rain did clear up quite a bit when i was done at the library..)
anyway.. back to my story... so there i was... cold (forgot to put a jacket in my bag.. brilliant.. for someone who owns so many of them.. i really hv no excuse for being cold...) and sleepy (had to make it to sch real early so that i cld pick mei up from her lazik op...) i was reminded of the parable and thought... wow, maybe i'll get an A for effort!!!
just as i hiked up the stairs.. from the bus stop.. onto the sheltered walkway leading to the library.... i saw eunice heading towards me... holding onto notes and books more than her two arms can handle... umbrella in one hand... bag slung across her shoulder... and i thought.. damn! i've probably gotta brave more of these storms to even qualify for an A for NICE TRY...

willy wonka willy wonka... lalalalalala...

ok ming prob has a better idea of how the song goes..
haha...
my other fav song would be... 'a moment on the lips.. forever on the hips.. on the hips... on the hips... lalalalaa.. '
haha.. (not so much a song as a motivational cheer!)

caught the show before it was officially released on 4th august... and i must say it was very entertaining!!
haha... and as i happily exclaimed to boh, ming and lim.. 'i read a book today!'
what??! i was not a roald dahl kid... haha... after enid blyton i moved onto tv times.. and TV...
(at least i know that its not read as ROAD DULL... hahahaa... sorry CC... **chest thumpin'**)
but... thats the great things bout literary works that has a movie version! i can pretend that i've read that darn thing...
and inject some normalcy into my childhood.. hey! i was busy learning chinese from ch8 ok!

so charlie and the chocolate factory.. goes into the same shelf as lord of the rings, harry potter...
ooh.. CS Lewis' chronicles of narnia coming this christmas!! haha... one less book to read!

meatballs galore!

thanks boh boh for doing the montage...
here's a rundown of credits for last sunday's meatball party!

venue: jjk courtesy of lim
peeled red flesh oranges (and by peeled.. we mean ALL skinn removed... yes.. chockful of flesh with every bite..) courtesy of lim's aunt...
pots and pans and stove and the very warm kitchen courtesy of lim's family...

yummy potato salad courtesy of ming (altho we know who'll be doing the dishes at home.. so thanks nellie!!!)
hardsell konyaku jelly in large sizes also from ming... (serve deserts first next time eh?)
the stirring and watchama call it,... sifting/dissolution of the powder for the meatball sauce... ming and mei...
*sauce from ikea

aglio olio spaghetti... with butter-fused sauce courtesy of boh... basel and parsley on the side...

the meatball chefs... **chest thumping** sy and me! hee hee...
*authentic swedish meatballs from ikea

assortment of drinks/beer... courtesy of bing

clean up: mr sern hong.. all becos he couldn't eat one more meatball...
the taste testers: tay yew, simeon, ding (too bad u missed the meatballs.. but i hope u had fun on ur date!!)... and everyone else who ate...
and guest appearances:elaine (free ride home to ulu pandan!!!)

and special guest appearances via IDD: yvette and niki!!

it was fun.. let's do it again sometime soon.. but maybe one tub less of 'em meatballs... i hear there's a party in december...
woo hoo!!