Dearest,
I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we cannot go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that---- everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.
V
(Woolf, L, 1969)
(Extract from THE JOURNEY NOT THE ARRIVAL MATTERS by Leonard Woolf published by Hogarth Press. Used by kind permission of The Society of Authors as the Literary Representatives of the Estate of Virginia Woolf. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).
They said 'Come to tea and let us comfort you'. But it's no good. One must be crucified on one's own private cross.
It is a strange fact that a terrible pain in the heart can be interrupted by a little pain in the fourth toe of the right foot. I know that V. will not come across the garden from the lodge, and yet I look in that direction for her. I know that she is drowned and yet I listen for her to come in at the door. I know that it is the last page and yet I turn it over. There is no limit to one's own stupidity and selfishness.
Extract from 'A MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS. AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT OF LEONARD AND VIRGINIA WOOLF’ by George Spater and Ian Parsons Published by Jonathan Cape and Hogarth Press 1977. Used by kind permission of The Random House Group Limited. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section is restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).
I feel certain I am going mad again. I feel we cannot go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that---- everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.
I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.
V
(Woolf, L, 1969)
(Extract from THE JOURNEY NOT THE ARRIVAL MATTERS by Leonard Woolf published by Hogarth Press. Used by kind permission of The Society of Authors as the Literary Representatives of the Estate of Virginia Woolf. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).
They said 'Come to tea and let us comfort you'. But it's no good. One must be crucified on one's own private cross.
It is a strange fact that a terrible pain in the heart can be interrupted by a little pain in the fourth toe of the right foot. I know that V. will not come across the garden from the lodge, and yet I look in that direction for her. I know that she is drowned and yet I listen for her to come in at the door. I know that it is the last page and yet I turn it over. There is no limit to one's own stupidity and selfishness.
Extract from 'A MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS. AN INTIMATE PORTRAIT OF LEONARD AND VIRGINIA WOOLF’ by George Spater and Ian Parsons Published by Jonathan Cape and Hogarth Press 1977. Used by kind permission of The Random House Group Limited. Copyright: permission to reproduce this section is restricted to the Royal College of Psychiatrists' electronic website only).
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