the sorry state of my blog...

where have all the readers gone??
maybe they'll come back when i start posting again...
its the year of the dawg... in other words.. THE BITCH IS BACK!

coming to the end of another year...

its been over two weeks since the last entry...
i've officially moved to a more ulu place in 'eternity'...
still in the process of unpacking and settling in...
but its no excuse to miss out on the festivities...

its been a rollercoaster week... (or days rather, since i am referring to the upheavals within the last 24hrs..)
it's a strange thing to be attending a wake the night before a party...
to be stalked during lunch..
and even more taxing to haul myself out of a state of 'moodiness' to suddenly be the 'life' of the party...
(shan't get into the details.. lets just say curiosity did not kill the cat.. but the truth did sour the puss..)

but all's well ends well...
even when i thought i was not much fun to be around..
i managed to smile, laugh and enjoy the moment..
it was a wonderful BIANNUAL potluck... the spread was good.. and the servings were just right..
BUTTERBALL TURKEY, HONEY BAKED RIBS, PASTAS, SALADS (VEGE and POTATO), CHOC COATED STRAWBERRIES, PUDDING,...
the list goes on.. (ok maybe only a little bit more..)
but till 2007... we shall only reminisce...

coming to the end of 2005, i wondered how much had i learnt.. if i did at all..
i still make the same mistakes..
i still convince myself of the same lies...
call that consistency.. (now who says i can't keep focus!)
and perhaps there is no such thing as getting wiser or better with age..
OR maybe you get better at making similar errors in judgement..
and the whole process just becomes more efficient..

so i shall sit here and wait for 2006...
to usher in a resolution...
if not i will just repost this entry come this time next year!

PS: thanks for the food, presents and festive cheer y'all!

fellowship of folly..

i remember how i'd meet up with old frens.. or new frens for that matter... and they'd ask "what are u doing?" and i'd reply that i'm still studying.. and they'd go... "oh, what's your major?"... i'd say, "architecture.." and most of their responses would be along the lines of COOL... WOW... IT's FUN isn't it? and they'd start sharing what they've read up on so and so architects... and they might even ask me what my fav building is... or what do i think of the esplanade..

its strange how they all love the glam glam part of this industry... well, the part that they'd see on books, magazines, etc... (its never gonna be as glam as TV..) what they dunno is the road to getting there...

i wish for once i cld just say... "i dun quite care for the esplande... and i sure dun give shit about the architectural climate in singapore..." but i'd play along... give my rehearsed answer.. something about the debate between aesthetics and functionality... blah blah blah...

the problem with architecture is... (or would it be more accurate to say that the GOOD thing about architecture)... it is subjective... it absolutely is.. so in that case... anyone, perhaps everyone can participate and have their say.. give their two cents worth.. as and when they've finished with the latest gossip... now the REAL PROBLEM is.. in school, it is no longer subjective... you have tutors who tell you that you are wrong, what you should or shouldn't do... and the best thing is, they don't even agree with one another.. but somehow, we model the designs according to their approval...

those who've been through it.... we know how tough it gets... and perhaps upon survival... having suffered shit, gives us the right to be nasty to the next batch of students.. (hey, i've heard crappy students make 'authoratative' comments about other ppl's work... as if they'd know better...) so to those of us.. still stuck in sch (and to my frens who've just started that painful journey overseas..) what goes ard comes ard.. i bet ur tutor (yes, the arse who thinks he's so great) has paid similar dues... he's been told his drawings are crap... and his ideas crappier... (that's why they really just doodle... instead of sketching out what they hv to say)..

but the lesson to be learnt here is that.. WE'LL SURVIVE..

FRAIL- jars of clay

Convinced of my deception
I've always been a fool
I fear this love reaction
Just like you said I would

A rose could never lie
About the love it brings
And I could never promise
To be any of those things

Blessed are the shallow
Depth they'll never find
Seemed to be some comfort
In rooms I try to hide

Exposed beyond the shadows
You take the cup from me
Your dirt removes my blindness
Your pain becomes my peace

If I was not so weak
If I was not so cold
If I was not so scared of being broken
Growing old
I would be...
frail

random pictures from a night of KRUMPING..

ahhh yes.. i promised not to spend precious time doing any photo montages.. so i've randomly selected photos to put up on my blog.. for those of y'all that dunno what KRUMPING is... check out madonna's new video... heh.. the rolling arms... finger points... chicken wings.. and fat woman dance moves... yes.. think saturday night fever... and john travolta... like i said.. the good ol' days of disco are back... now i can't wait to run out to the nearest cd store to get the album.. ok.. the nearest cd store is not within running distance... damn...

porcelain

porcelain
you weren't who i made you out to be
a mere figment of my over imagination
you, immortalized
placed you on a pedestal
unwilling to see the flaws
that stared me in the face

my porcelain
broken
couldn't bring myself to throw you away
cast you aside
pieced you back together
pretending you were still perfect
hoping all the cracks would go unnoticed
if i did succeed
fooling only myself

my porcelain
looked at me and cried
shedding tears
for my pride
it wasn't sympathy
they weren't apologies
you weep because it was love
but no more

i won i won!!!

maybe i should try my luck at toto or big sweep..
but for now... i'm contented with the simpler things in life..
heh.. celeb gazing.. and the new zouk... plus first listen of madonna's new album!!
woo hooo.....

having a bad day....

i will refrain from whining...
just very quickly... my microwave died... basically all it does now is turn a bowl of cold food inside it...
bleaah... like one of those Fisher Price microwave ovens..

been having bad dreams... don't exactly qualify as nightmares... but i wake up from my nap so disturbed and exhausted...
maybe i need to hang one of those dream catcher things in my room...
bleaah...

ps: i cldn't put this in poetry format...

a third and final instalment...

Fleeting Encounters

you fell in love with a drifter
unfamiliar with eternity
or love everlasting
each smile
mocking your foolishness
every gesture
trespasses

when your joy
has no meaning in another
neither your sadness
nor sorrow
you are alone
delirium fades
euphoria turns into despair

the moment
passes
the silence
lingers
a fleeting encounter
awaiting its goodbye

i will no longer blog in prose...

Lingering Silence

silence
speaking volumes
where words fail us
a goodbye
an end
we part in silence

unspoken
are the feelings
in all gravity
finds its way into hiding
the hidden depths
of things unspeakable

two voices
reluctant to be heard
settles in silence
unspoken

an act undone
can never undo
the hurt inflicted
scars like a reminder
a memory
we cannot erase
a lingering silence

must be all the sad songs playing on the radio..

Passing Moments

the beauty of a moment
is only beautiful in its passing
being in that moment
and falling out of it
leaving you blind and bewildered
sometimes broken
in that moment

they say not to believe it
not to fall
but the heart is beguiled
for we lose all sense of judgement
in that moment
between time gone by
and then

perhaps
we live for that moment
hoping it transpires to eternity
like a fairytale
with its happy ending
lies that we often tell ourselves
becomes truth
in that moment

it must have been my lucky day!

courtesy of a fairy-sugar-godmother

puffy eyes in the morning...

well at least i'm back to singapore time...
that's the only consolation..
otherwise i'm still sleep deprived... (ok, one can't get too much sleep rite??)
but all this will temporarily end come monday...
HALLOWEEN!!
alright.. not cos i'll be going around trick or treating..
but its the FINAL deadline... yes.. FINAL... for the dissertation (i still love the way the word makes it sound so sophisticated)
after nearly 6mths... (ok so i prob ONLY did actual work half that time.. ok.. maybe one third)
it will be done...
there'll be no more papers to write for a while..
in fact... its prob the last paper for my very long stint in university...
gosh... it will all be over soon..

let's not look too far into the crystal ball...
the great unknown isn't pleasant...

now gimme some teabags... i've gotta go out and face the world!

not quite... the morning after

well most of you have heard me complain bout the braces..
throwing my little fits...
overusing the crying emoticon...
cos it hurts and i can't eat...
nothing worse than being in pain and hungry at the same time...
but i am glad to officially announce that I CAN EAT..
in fact i had CREAMY CHICKEN PASTA from pasta mania...
was surprised to find that the chicken shreds that they use are quite tender...
i little bit of munching and i can swallow..
so since now that i am no longer THAT hungry... my mood has brightened up considerably...

anyway.. caught SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGENCE
good show.. those who are in singapore should really catch it..
a good mix of humour and violence... actually its not at all violent since they never really show the killing/stabbing on screen... unlike the america equivalent, KILL BILL...
those who are not in singapore (since my readers are now from all over the globe).... too bad... heee..
if u offer to pay i will look for the dvd and rip and send it to you...

the age of disco is back!

itunes 6.0

for those who already know.. i've been PREPARING for my ipod for quite sometime now...
from adding artwork to the albums and songs (ipod photo) and now.. adding videos to my catalogue... in anticipation for the new ipod with video... its so cute how they generate the icon for the videos... i shall load it with lotsa music videos...

heh.. i'm glad i waited.. =)

anyway.. the new and improved itunes is ALRIGHT... much of the interface hasn't change... only for the function to add and view videos... and their supposed more sleek appearance actually isn't very nice.. much prefer the old one... cos the new one is kinda BOXy... very square.. very sharp edges... and the display of the track info as u play the songs arent great...
and the thing i wished they'd upgrade was for them to show the album artwork even when u minimize the window to just the controller... like the display on the ipod!! i guess they dun want ppl w/out ipods to get a cheap thrill out of it..
**sobs**

somebody buy me an ipod!!!! (with video of course)

midnite snack!

picture
Originally uploaded by lepetitmac.

sweet sleep...

so much for the plan to get back to spore time...
i actually think i'm in new york time now...
**waves**
hi jan!! hi sy!!!

so its technically 830am over there in new york..
what shall i do this lovely saturday morning...
heh.. but my tummy's not going along with the brain..
it wants dinner...

damn.. hv to go out and find myself some grub...
macs? kfc?
hmm.... maybe i can get some reading done at mcdonalds??
heh.. who am i kidding... i think i'll bring a fluffy mag there instead...

this is it!!!

just imagine... w&g... chengjun ge...
MING! what are u waiting for... this is it!!!!
all your tv shows on the go!!!

**drool**

**faint**

i want!!!!!!

it will soon be a year...

time flies really... suddenly remembered that i started this blog sometime in october last year..
it will soon be a year...
to those who are still reading this blog... good for you! hahaaa
i'm not about to stir up some controversy to boost readership tho...
nope.. no racial slurs.. no complaints about the gahmen...

this blog shall still remain a fluff-only zone...
this is the shrine of blondes... and black-haired asians with IQ of blondes...
heh...

well.. a year had passed.. and no point in looking back really...
cos it might all sound too familiar...
won't it be depressing to look back.. and realise that you're still stuck in the same predicament and situations nowadays?
nah.. that thought wld be too depressing...

so i instead.. i will look AHEAD.. (like all forward looking msians *chest thumping*)
the sch term will draw to a close.. all deadlines wld be a thing of the past...
holidays.. x'mas... parties... woo hoo0o0o0o
things are looking up already...

and yes.. I'M MOVING.. relocating... to another place within the same region of ulu-pandanness..
but it will be A ROOM OF MY OWN... for quite some time to come..
so this time.. there'll be a REASON to decorate...
(ming... buy me ikea vouchers.. haha i will throw a room warming party!! or better yet.. buy me a dog.. and dog food!!! you will have visiting rights... heh)

who wants to help me move? any manslaves out there??